How To Deal With Negative Emotions 2/2

The next one up is fear. What we fear, fear being scared, anxiety, they're all forms of fear. And fear is quite an interesting one. Actually, fear is the one that is absolutely not grounded in reality. There could be an argument that none of them are grounded in reality. But there was some evidence in the past that caused you to perhaps feel a certain way. But the thing about fear is, fear is false evidence appearing real, or fuck everything and run, is another popular acronym from the streets of North London where I grew up. And fear is an interesting one. Fear, anxiety, being scared, what that is, is always based in the future. You can't feel fear for something that's happening in the moment. I'll give you an example of this. If you are scared of deep blue ocean, all right, and I push you into deep blue ocean, because you didn't pay me on time, or you're a jerk, you're no longer scared of the deep blue ocean because your body, your amygdala, the part that's responsible for fight or flight and adrenalin, your unconscious mind if you will, is channeling all your blood, all your resources, not wasting a single drop of blood, a single resource, a single force, a single emotion on any of that, it's just fighting to keep your head above water so you don't drown. The very fact that you're fearing, that you have fear, that you have anxiety means one thing, and one thing only, the thing that you fear, the thing that you're anxious about, the thing that you're scared about is not currently happening at this second in this particular moment. It might happen a minute from now, it might happen a day from now, a month from now, a year from now, who knows, but it isn't happening now.

Another example, is you're scared of falling off a rock and you're rock climbing, you're climbing up the wall. The very fact that you're scared of falling means you're not falling. It means you've projected something into the future. Because you see, if you were falling, in those split seconds it would take you to reach the bottom of whatever you're falling down, you're not scared anymore because all you're thinking about is fucking surviving. Grabbing hold of a rock face. Again your body is distributing blood and analgesia around your body that when you do, bang, hit that ground, it causes the least amount of damage possible. Not a single second, not a single thought, not a single moment is wasted in that moment because you're unconscious, or your amygdala takes control.

Now, you might feel fear, you might feel pain when you go slap, like a pancake, down the bottom of that mountain, you might feel pain after but the fear means the thing either happened, or most at times hasn't happened yet. It's not currently happening. So, all anxiety is everyone, again, another part of the family of fear. All anxiety is this, everyone does anxiety the same, everyone in the world. I know of over 5,000 clients. Should I tell you how people do anxiety? Here we go. And they do it in a split second, quicker than that, but I'm gonna break it down for you. Here we go. Here's how they do anxiety. You go out to the future, to an event that hasn't happened yet because it can't, because it's the future. You imagine going to the end of the event, imagine the event going wrong, now getting all those brain chemicals inside of you like cortisol, like adrenalin fight, flight or freeze, pollute that into your mind now and into your body, then come back to now, into this present moment, polluted by all those chemicals that make you feel shitty. And in a way program your unconscious mind like a compass to make that happen because you already mentally rehearsed it. Think about how many times you've mentally rehearsed the thing you're scared of, the thing you're anxious about, you make it more likely to happen by rehearsing it over and over again. You get what you focus on. The very fact once again that you're feeling fear means the very thing that you're fearing is not currently happening. That's all it's telling you and it can be released.

It's appropriate at times like I said, you're walking down a street and someone chases you with a knife. It's appropriate to feel fear but the fear quickly subsides to fight or flight. Adrenalin has gone in your body where you run, you freeze, that's generally not a good idea, or you fight to save your life. It's appropriate at times. Your unconscious mind knows what to do, your amygdala knows what to do, hence you could be sitting there right now and you hear a bang. And your amygdala fires off, and then your amygdala shuts back down again because it realizes, "I was just being a jerk. I made a loud sound and clapped my hands." So you go on about your day. Or you're about to cross over and you're not going to J-walk over, right. You're gonna cross at the zebra crossing. And as you're crossing there's a naughty motorist who quickly zips past you around the corner and suddenly you feel yourself jump backwards. You didn't think about jumping backwards. You weren't thinking about jumping backwards five minutes before. It just happened because your amygdala, your unconscious mind, if you will, knew. Its number one job is to keep you safe, to pull you out, fight, flight or freeze, and you didn't freeze in that moment, you ran if you will, or you jumped backwards, same family.

Your body knows how to keep you safe. It's not a thought, it's not an emotion, it's a gut feeling that you have. So you can listen to your head and you can intellectualize things till you're blue in the face. It doesn't make them necessarily disappear. You can run by your heart and emotions and again, that's still not necessarily the whole story. But when you're truly looking...listening to your gut, when you truly listen to your gut, it does not steer you wrong. If you have an emotion, you have a negative emotion in this quad if you will, in this foursome, it would be guilt and shame. And again like I said, guilt is something that you feel you've wronged someone else. Shame is in a way that you've felt that you've perhaps wronged yourself. They're kind of both useless, but only one way could they be remotely useful. And that is oftentimes a sociopath or a psychopath, someone who engages in the dark triad will not feel guilt, will not feel shame. And if you do feel guilt or shame, it means in some way you're a human being. In some way, you feel you've wronged someone or yourself, and you don't feel so good about it. And if you self-correct, having that knowledge, then it's very, very useful, but if you just use it to beat yourself up, then stop fucking torturing yourself now.

Guilt is, I felt that, you know, I didn't give to the homeless man or I didn't call my mom on Mother's Day, or I got into an argument with my boyfriend, or a girlfriend. Or shame is, oh I was feeling really bad today so I ate all that chocolate, now I feel shameful. Or I jerked off to that porn, oh I just feel dirty about it but not in a good way. Or you know, whatever it is, is from the same family. And when you just take things for what they are, you realize the map is not the territory. When you have that pearl necklace if you will, and it sounds a bit rude but not that type of pearl necklace. A pearl kind of necklace that resembles shame or guilt meant for any of these emotions. You don't have to go back to every moment, every time you ever felt guilt, or ever felt shame. You can actually take out that thread that holds all those necklaces aside, you could take them out, all those pearls to the point all those pearls just dissipate on the floor. And that structure, that problem disappears.

So, to summarize today, all emotions are useful, okay? Whether it be anger, sadness, fear, and to a lesser extent, guilt. But it's not useful when you respond to however old you are, with 38, some odd years, my age, of anger, or sadness, or fear, guilt or shame. That's not appropriate. So, having the ability to defrag your mind as you defrag your computer to get rid of the cache tray, to delete the cache tray or the cookie tray in your computer and not in your oven, or your refrigerator, it helps you to respond to things appropriately. To change intensity of that, how things affect you in the world. And you'd probably wanna do a technique to do this regularly.

In hypnosis, there's many techniques or neuro-linguistic programs that I do with my clients. So, you won't take the trash out once, right. And say...and then a couple of days later you're like, ''Oh, my God, there's more trash. I thought because I took out the trash once, I'd never have trash again.'' No, that's not realistic. You can have trash every day, and this is a form of head trash. But there's techniques and things that you can do where you can literally, very, very quickly, very, very rapidly take out the trash in your mind every single day. So you can respond appropriately to the appropriate situation, to the appropriate person, to the appropriate event in the appropriate way. If it's appropriate to feel angry, you can be angry about that one thing, but not have that backlog of anger where it becomes dangerous, where it just becomes silly, where it just becomes too much.

Imagine you could live in a world where you responded to things with the appropriate amount of level, automatically because your backlog of all that negativity was gone. And that's oftentimes the foundation of what I do, change work with people is they might come in and they might be a smoker but we'll release all their past anger, all their past sadness, all their past fear, all their past guilt and shame. And it kind of kicks out the four legs of a chair if you will. So that original problem that they came for, whether it be smoking, whether it be some kind of deep trauma, or physical thing, it can't stand up so to speak, excuse the pun, on its own anymore because the table was no longer there. And once those emotions, the inappropriate emotions are poured out like weeds, your garden becomes a lot more beautiful happy place for you to plant seeds for the future, for a more compelling life.

I've been Luke Michael Howard, aka HypnoPunk. This has been podcast number 12, all about emotions. And what I'm doing at this current moment is everyone who leaves me a five star review on iTunes, if you email me, email will be underneath this link to this podcast. It will be Mail M-A-I-l@lukenosis, And you email me that you did that and let me know, then I'll offer you a free 30 minute power session over Skype with me where we could talk about something that's been keeping you stuck your whole life. And some very, very implementable skills or strategies you can use to overcome that for free, just because you took the time to listen to my show, to be a part of it, and to review it and help us grow.

Always Believe,
Toronto Hypnotist

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