How To Deal With Negative Emotions 1/2

What they are all about and how they run our lives. And we're gonna actually work more on specifically negative emotions today, because if you've got a bunch of positive emotions, you're doing all right. So, you're great. Amazing. But let's look at those negative emotions today. Those ones that prevent you from feeling the way you wanna feel, preventing you from doing the things you wanna do, preventing you from being who you want to be.

And there's only, really, four, there's four negative emotions. They are anger, and there's many different forms of anger. It could be frustration, annoyance, peeved, for our American friends, and many, many more, but they all come from anger. And the next one is sadness. Sadness could be depression, feeling a bit low, feeling a bit down. They all come from the sadness family. Then we've got fear. Fear can be being scared of something, anxiety about something, apprehensive about something, that's all fear. And then we've got guilt. We're gonna put shame onto guilt as well. And the only difference between guilt and shame is guilt tends to be something that we feel, felt that we've done wrong to others, and shame tends to be how we feel that we have wronged ourself. But we're gonna put that under the guilt family.

Every other negative emotion will be in some shape or form linked to one of those four. And once they are cleared from your system, you will no longer have a backlog of, however old you are, for me, 38 years of inappropriate anger, inappropriate sadness, inappropriate fear, or inappropriate guilt/shame.

Now, all emotions are useful on some level, and when we talk about clearing these emotions it doesn't mean you won't be able to feel them in the future. In fact, if I had the ability with a magic wand that I don't, to make all these emotions disappear from your life I'd be doing you a huge disservice because I'd be taking away from you some of the color from your life on some level. Because sometimes, yeah, it is appropriate to be angry, sometimes, and a lot of times it's appropriate not to be angry. Sometimes it's appropriate to be sad. You've actually lost someone that you love, they have passed away. It's appropriate to be sad, to grieve a little bit, but not for the rest of your fucking life. Sometimes it's appropriate to feel fear. If you've got an Alsatian dog running after you, or a Pit bull and it's about to bite off your wiener, and perhaps it's appropriate to be a bit fearful to get the hell out of there. But not every moment of your life.

Guilt and shame, I don't know if it is necessarily appropriate to be feeling them. Hence guilt sometimes is that inbuilt, inner compass that lets us know, yeah, we are a real human being. We're not a sociopath, or a psychopath. We do feel guilt because we've felt we've wronged someone, or shamed, or wronged ourselves on some level. So, maybe, in that way to finger pointing back to let us know I am a human being, I've felt that I've wronged someone. Okay, I'm probably a decent person who just made a mistake. The only problem is, is we don't respond to situations in our life most of the time with the appropriate amount of anger for that specific situation, or the appropriate amount of sadness for that specific one situation. Or the appropriate amount of fear for that specific situation, or the appropriate amount of guilt for that specific situation because we've got these things in our mind called gestalts. If you imagine your whole life there's like a string, and every time you encounter anger there's like a pearl being threaded onto that string. So, let's say you're like 38 like me and you've accumulated a lot of pearls, a lot of pearls of anger over the years, being angry, or a little angry, frustration, annoyance and full blown rage. So you might have a necklace there filled with all these beads. And some of them you've got really, really good reasons for them. However, everything that happens to us that we respond in an angry way, unless we've done a lot of work in releasing ourselves, we're probably not responding to that specific particular piece of information, that particular event that's going on with the appropriate amount of anger for us because we're interacting with it with all the anger of that necklace of anger that we've accumulated all of those years. So we're going to overreact, we're gonna catastrophize the situation.

All these emotions are useful on some level hence most of us don't, again, we don't go into that situation dealing with this specific anger that we're experiencing for that one particular thing. No, it's a backlog of anger that we've accumulated, we haven't resolved throughout many, many years. It's kind of like a computer. A computer has some things called cookies or cache tray. They ask you to clear out every few months, or every few weeks because if you don't it gets a backlog and it slows down your computer and makes it very, very buggy. So well talking about releasing those emotions, is just actually releasing that stuff from your head top computer if you will. Defragging your head top computer so you can respond with the appropriate amount of whatever that, inside the emotion is right there. And you'd be amazed that the intensity starts to drop quite radically when you're dealing for a situation for what it is with the appropriate amount of that emotion. And not a gestalt, a pearl necklace if you will, of many, many years, a lifetime of accumulated anger, sadness, fear, guilt or shame.

See, the thing is, it's all about releasing those feelings, defragging your system So when it comes down to anger, anger has been linked to coronary heart disease, to heart attacks out there. It actually does have a physical correlation to your health if you're carrying around a lot of anger in your system. You're probably also releasing a lot of adrenalin, and adrenalin can be very useful at times. Yet when you're just sitting at home ruminating about that person who gave you the evil eye, the stink eye, or the crook eye, or that person who didn't call you back and you're playing that movie inside your head. Your body starts to release adrenalin which gives you that fight or flight or freeze and you've got no way of really disbursing it because you're just sitting in your couch or sitting on the toilet ruminating over it. It's not like back into evolution where you'd have that adrenalin would come because there'd be a lion or tiger that'd be coming after you. So it'd be appropriate to have that adrenalin so you got the hell out of there, or you could fight that tiger, lion, or bear, with everything that you had to try and give you a semblance of chance or survival.

The amount of anger that most of us carry around is completely inappropriate. We are not responding to the issue. The map is not the territory. We're bringing that backlog, that rucksack of stones, of accumulated anger, and we're bringing that into a situation.

We've all heard the story of road rage. I remember growing up hearing the story of Jack Nicholson. He was driving. He got out of his car, and he picked up a golf club, I guess, that he had in the back of his car and he started to smash up the guy's car in front of him because the guy, I think had just cut him off. And to think that that was appropriate, perhaps appropriate amount of rage for that situation, or do you think Mr. Jack Nicholson loved him to death. But do you think that maybe he had a backlog of unresolved anger that had he dealt with, had he let go of it perhaps wouldn't have reacted with quite the intensity. I'm sure you've never overreacted to things in your life in an angry way.

Nothing wrong with the emotion. It's not that it's bad, it's not that it's good. It's useful. It's just not useful to keep in your system for too long because it's going to hurt you physically, it's gonna hurt you mentally as well.

Next one is sadness. It's appropriate to have sadness sometimes, you know, and perhaps you're grieving for somebody. Perhaps there's been a big loss in your life or on some level of a job, a partnership, whatever. It's appropriate sometimes to feel sadness in all disguises. You're a human being, you're allowed to feel a kaleidoscope of emotions. But when it comes down to sadness, an example is grief. Say you've lost somebody, somebody you loved dearly has passed away, it's appropriate. It's appropriate to grieve him and it's appropriate to be sad for a little bit but should you be sad for the rest of your life, every moment of every day because that person is gone? No, that's not appropriate. That's gonna destroy your life. I'm sure that person who passed away that was dear to you wouldn't want that for you either.

So it's about appropriateness, to the appropriate the situation. Imagine you had the ability to clear out, defrag, to unpearl that necklace if you will, of all of those times, of all that emotional intensity so you could react to a situation for what that situation was at that particular day, that particular time. And then you let it go. Because there's a great quote that is real wisdom is about having the memory but release from emotion. That's real wisdom. You have the lesson, you have the learning. And once you get the lesson, once you get the learning from the emotion, you don't have to keep re-experiencing that with the same intensity. That's like the metaphor I like to use, whatever these emotions and we've gone over anger and we're on sadness now. You got that necklace and all of those little beads, those pearls are coming out and other times where you've been sad, sad and in some shape, some form, grieving, depressed, depressed in yourself if you will. And it's really about coming by and just taking out, not just taking out the pearls because that takes forever. It's forms of therapy, psychotherapy where you'll be going forever about everything that ever made you sad from the moment you were in your mum's womb until session number 227 and you still feel like shit. No, it takes too much time. There's transformational technology. It's like hypnosis out there to name just a few where you go in and literally pull out that thread that's holding all those necklaces together. So all those beads, all those rotten pearls just disappear and you can start again with the appropriate amount of emotion for that time. Depression has been...there's a strong correlation with depression and depressing your immune system, having a weakened immune system. And different forms of cancer when people have done studies on it. So it actually affects you physically as well when you keep depressing yourself.

Stay tuned for part two next week.

Always Believe,
Toronto Hypnotist

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