Why Don't Client's Change? Pattern #2 Part 5
Now the second pattern, and I'm pretty sure
everyone seen this if you work with clients,
is when clients come to us. And they stay at effect
of their problem. Now every client that comes
to us is the effect of their problem. I know it's
a bit jargon, so if you're not familiar with
the effect is the problem is being done to me.
I have no power to make this situation any better.
And every cause I dated A1 woman that broke my heart.
Every woman is bad news because I was once arrested.
Every policeman is bad because I had a one time
bad experience in Australia. Australia is
a bad place. I'm the victim. Why is the world
doing this to me? They're coming in at effect now.
Every client comes to us at effect. Because
if they weren't effect, they would have fixed
their issue, they would have healed themselves,
they wouldn't need us anymore. So that's normal
that they call us, they reach out to us to get some help.
But here's where it becomes a problem. Is no
matter what work they do, they come in and like,
ohh I've read, I've seen you online, Luke. I've
watched your Ted talk. I've listened to your podcast.
You. You're magnificent. You're wonderful.
Heal me, change me, Hallelujah, pull out your
magic wand and do some hocus pocus. Why? I just
sit here passively and do nothing while you
the hypnotist . Take responsibility of my life
and I'll just sit here and smile and nod occasionally.
That's what I mean by being at effect in the session. All right.
So I always see as as a change worker. They come in effect.
This is normal. My number one job is to get them over here.
To be at course cause when they're at cause they
can start to shift. They can start to change.
How they're show me effect is they'll come into
the session and they'll come into the session
and I'll ask him did you do your homework? Did
you listen to the recording that you can listen
to when you go to sleep so you don't even have
to spend any more time doing it? No I I didn't do it.
I thought. I thought this was just I just do the
hour with you and and my life would change or
they'll come in and they'll mistakenly think
I'm a councilor. Nothing against councilors,
psychotherapist, nothing against psychotherapist,
a life coach. Nothing against life coaching
and expect it's gonna be a conscious back and
forth conversation where they get to unload
all their feelings and how shitty their life is.
They're going to story mode and while they're
in story mode, they can never their effect and
they can never be at cause because they're stuck
in their story. So I tell a lot of my clients is
you can either. Keep your story or you can have change.
But you can't have them both. So what do you want?
Do you want to stay here and have that story that
people listen to? Because this is amazing frigging story.
But if you're over here, you can't have the thing
you paid for. So what do you want? So a big part
of it is me consistently getting them back,
getting them away from affect, getting, getting
them on cause who, who has experienced that
with clients that they come in affect and they
like to stay at effect. Yeah, so that's what I see.
My main job is to do is to get them from effect to cause.
So that's that's the second pattern I see. I
see that one with everyone. That's definitely
one I see with everyone.