Why Don’t Client’s Change? Pattern #4 Part 7

Why Don't Client's Change?

Pattern #4 Part 7



As he takes his blazer off now because he's getting

hot, # 4, #4, who's ready for #4? Put your arm up.

There you go. Thank you so much. Audience participation.

Alright, #4 is. Oh, OK, the great big what if?

Great big what if. Is an example how we doing for time.

By the way, what's the time?

11:28 great. I've still got time. So the

great big what if goes a bit like this? They come

in and real client changed their name to protect

their identity. Like they're in the witness

protection programme, they come in and they

are scared of aeroplanes, they're scared of

heights scale of aeroplanes more specifically.

And they're coming to see me because in two weeks

they're going to Mexico to get married. Great.

So they come into the office and we're just about

to work and they say to me, luke um, question.

We're doing this work here today. We're just

about to do this work right now. But but but how

am I going to know that it worked until I was on

the aeroplane? I'm I'm not gonna know

if this worked if I changed. I've got a great

way of bringing that up and great way of them

knowing before they leave the office you either

worked or it didn't. And I'm like, luke, because

I'm not gonna be on the plane. There's no way

to test it. I'm saying that's an interesting thing.

So you don't know about if this is gonna work

until you're actually on the aeroplane, 2 weeks

when I'm not gonna be there and I work is finished.

They're like, yeah. So like, you actually think

the problem is a plane, right? They're like,

yeah, of course it's the plane. I'm terrified of flying.

It's the plane 's fault. I'm like interesting.

I wonder if I could do a little experiment, frame it softly.

You up for a little experiment? There like. Yeah, alright.

Close your eyes. And to imagine it's two weeks

from now and you're on that aeroplane.

Then suddenly that emotion comes up and I see

that colour change and that emotional shift.

I'm like, where's the anxiety now that they

couldn't find before? Because why would I feel

anxious now? I'm not on the aeroplane. It's a 9!

I really know it to 9 because I've seen this shift in colour.

I've seen the body stiffen up. And I'll say,

well, that's how you know. Because when we're

done today, when you revisit that past memory

or future memory, that nine, you'll still be

able to see it however you see it in your mind,

in a way that makes sense to you, but you won't

be able to feel it. So you'll know that this shit worked.

They are great. So do the modality, the hypnosis

Huna, the healing timeline therapy, whatever

the technique is, an hour later we go back to test it.

So imagine it's two weeks from now, you're on the aeroplane.

Where's the fear gone now? Where's your anxiety

gone now? And I'm not just listening to her words,

I'm watching, I'm watching their Physiology

because I took a mental picture when they first

came in, when they were in a fear state and

now I'm comparing it to the end. So yeah I'm listening

to them but I'm comparing the two pictures fear

state when they came in and now there should be none.

There should be an absence of it right. So I'm

looking for major markers and ohh yeah luke

I it's still not my most favourite thing in the

world flying on an aeroplane but you know, I

guess I'm going to be up there for four hours

and you know I read a magazine. I'm like what

about the anxiety? No, I just just just just feel neutral.

Just feel neutral about it. Like really try

really really try. And I'm like, I'm not doing

this as a trick. I know it's hypnotist. Like

Ohh, try and do this and try and do that and we

don't want. I'm like now generally, I really

want you to look for the anxiety in that future memory.

And if you can find any, we've got more work to do.

But if there's truly none left, you won't be

able to find it. And I give him some time. I step back.

I let him try and scan it and find it, and I'm not talking.

Give him a moment.

And they're like, no, can't find it. I'm like,

I'm like they're really, really give it a good look.

So you're really satisfied that this is done,

because remember, I'm not going to be there

2 weeks from now. This. This is the time that

there's only left. We need to get rid of it now.

Like, really, really good. A good, good, strong

test to see if it's there. And no, I don't find it.

I'm like, awesome. They smile. They're happy.

I've compared the two pictures in my mind. Yeah,

this one 's completely different from this one.

Great. They're confirming it to me, but they're

not really confirming it to me. That's not for

my ego, it's for them. Because when the words

come out of their own mouth, confirming it to them.

But here's where the great big what if? Come?

This is #4. The great big what if? Anyone remember

the TV show Colombo? Detective Colombo? Yeah,

do you remember Colombo? Said old detective

show Peter Falk And he was known because he

would seem a little bit of a dummy. A lot of the

criminals would think he was an idiot. But he

was really cunning and he was, he was really sneaky.

He was lot smarter. So people misjudged him

and his intelligence as a detective. They they'd

figured that they'd pulled a fast one and a murder,

and they got off right. And every episode it

had this scene. They think they got away with

their crime of the century, and it's coming

to about the last 10-15 minutes of the episode,

and he would step forward. He got ready to walk

out of the room and he would turn over his, turn

over his shoulder and say. Oh, just one more thing.

Just one more thing, Luke, where I am actually

on the aeroplane next week, what about the fear?

What if, what if I hit turbulence? What if the

fear comes back? What if this doesn't work now?

The what ifs come at the end of the session. So

no matter how good or thorough our work was here,

that what if has the potential to unravel everything

we have just done and they're going to be completely unsatisfied.

By the way, the what if is a different problem? It's anxiety.

So if they were coming in with a different problem,

but what if is always linked strongly to anxiety, so.

I'm like, hold on. You still think the problem

is about the aeroplane? Do you remember at the

beginning when I said to you it has nothing to

do with the aeroplane? Because you can have

fear 2 weeks before you go on the aeroplane when

you're at home lying on your bed just to cause

you can't go to sleep and you could bring up the fear.

Where's the aeroplane then? And they look at

me like this. Ohh, I don't know. No, there's the aeroplane.

It's in my head. Yeah, it's in your head. It has

nothing to do with the aeroplane at all. It's

your internal representations or how you're

seeing it, feeling it, experiencing in your body.

They're like, OK, so I'm like, so let me get this right.

Yeah but luke, what if it comes back to which

I say, so let me get this right. It's a 0 right now.

Won't give it another test. So I'll hit the test again.

Think of the most traumatic memory or future

memory that you can have. Bring it up. Where's

the feeling? Well, I can't feel it. So I've retested

again and like, so let me get this right two weeks

from now, you're going to get on that aeroplane

to Mexico and you're going to fly off. Are you

gonna have a different head than you have right

now? They're like, look at me puzzled. Are you

gonna have a different brain than you have right

now? They're like, well no, I guess it's the

same head and it's the same brain. So what's

going to be different from what the change that

you just made now and bring it into next week,

it's the same person, the same brain. They're

like ohh, yeah because they still think it's

about the aeroplane or not how they're processing it.

So you have to be very careful with clients when

it comes to what if and oftentimes what ifs can

be really disguised in such a way that you really

think, oh, that's a really good question they're asking.

I'm going to answer that. That's a really good question.

However, it's a what if question. And every

what if question is going to unravel your work

unless you deal with it there and then no matter

how good you are. So no matter what my clients

presenting problem is I always do a little bit

of anxiety work or future pacing because I want them.

I want to nuke, I want to get rid of, I want to delete

the what if. So when they're there every kind

of scenario that could have gone through they've

experienced it. They know. Ohh yeah I'm the

same guy just still 2 weeks old. The same head same

brain aeroplane. I'm not scared of aeroplane.

Say something to them, like if aeroplane was

the problem, then every single human being

on Earth would be scared of it flying. And I don't

know what the specific statistic is, but let's

say it's I don't know, 10% of people on Earth

are scared of flying. Doesn't matter if it's

a little bit less or more, there's still a huge

amount of people that either enjoy flying or

are completely neutral to it. It's never the

aeroplane, it's always our filtering systems.

So be careful of the what if? Oh luke, I'm, I'm,

I'm doing really well now, but what happens

in a couple of weeks when I go to this? I'm doing good.

There's another issue. I'm releasing weight.

It's going really, really well. I'm down 15lbs

It's going great for all this empowerment.

But you know what? I've got this wedding coming

up and what happened the the wedding, if I eat

too much, gotta deal with it. You've gotta deal

with that right then and there because if you

don't deal with it, they're going to come in next time.

They're going to come from this place of eating

too much cake at the wedding rather than ohh

yeah, I'm taking the change with me. Another

little sneaky thing I do with my clients is.

And it's a bit easier now on zoom because we're

in people's homes or wherever they're gonna

zoom with me at work. Oftentimes when I'd work

with clients, the change would get generalised

to my office, my physical office, but I forget

to tell them to bring the change or the transformation

out with them. I know it sounds like a little thing.

So what would happen is oftentimes the client

who called me up for the screening call the

heroin addict or the smoker is not the same client

that comes to my office. Now. They look the same.

They have the same fingerprint, they have the

same eye colour, they have the same sin number,

the same passport. But it's very different

because they called me up in a state of ohh, gotta

get rid of this or they're jonesing for their

drug and they're in their home or typically

environment where they might engage in that

particular behaviour activity. But when it

came to my office, they had no intention of shooting

up heroin or crystal meth. Or smoking. Or eating

10,000 calories. Or jumping out of an aeroplane. All right.

So when they show up, they're generally. Passive

a lot of the times, and I have a big belief that

the only way we can start to collapse that jenga

block or that structure is we need to be in the

problem with them at the bottom. Almost like

the Navy seals, right the Navy seals underwater

demolition if the client is not in the problem,

but they're watching it. Or as we say, dissociated

instead of associated. It's a bit like you go

to a fairground and you watch somebody on the

roller coaster versus being on the roller coaster.

Now if they're coming from a place of being dissociated

to get neurological on you, it's that neurological

pathway in their brain isn't lit up. So if they're

talking about passively, ohh yeah. You know,

when you when you do this and you do that, it's

another way to dissociate. Not when I'm on,

when I'm on the aeroplane or when I'm having

the problem or the panic attack. You know when

you have that. Panic attack, you know when you're

on the aeroplane. That's another way they do

the maybe or the what if so, whenever you hear

a you, you know you. It seems like such a small

thing, right? You have to be like. Well, no,

I don't have that problem. We're talking about you.

So please, going forward, please, when you're

talking about your problem, say I say me. Whatever

your name is, say luke. And later on they'll

slip up again. You know, luke, when you have

that problem, you're doing heroin. Well, no, I've.

I've. I've never done heroin. So I have no idea

why are you talking about me? Do you know my history?

No, no, no. So please talk about you. Because

they keep dissociating from the problem, and

that sounds powerful at some point, but they're

dissociating at the wrong time. When they want

to quit doing their heroin, the panic attack,

they're in it. That's when they don't want to be it.

That's when they want to dissociate. But when

it comes to the office, they're dissociated,

so it means everything 's passive. So we need

to get them into the problem state, light up that neurology.

So we're in the building and we or we pull out

that jenga block so we can knock that whole

thing down or like the Navy seals explode it.

Does that make sense to people? Yeah. Get inside the problem.

Get them associated into the problem. The great

big what if? To be very, very careful and answering

questions, and they will often come at the end

of the session. What if, what if, what if before

they leave your office, you got you got to deal

with that, you've got to deal with the what if?

And there's a few ways that you can deal with



Why Don’t Client’s Change? Pattern #1 Part 4

Why Don’t Client’s Change? Pattern #2 Part 5

Why Don’t Client’s Change? Pattern #3 Part 6

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