Why Don't Client's Change?
Pattern #4 Part 7
As he takes his blazer off now because he's getting
hot, # 4, #4, who's ready for #4? Put your arm up.
There you go. Thank you so much. Audience participation.
Alright, #4 is. Oh, OK, the great big what if?
Great big what if. Is an example how we doing for time.
By the way, what's the time?
11:28 great. I've still got time. So the
great big what if goes a bit like this? They come
in and real client changed their name to protect
their identity. Like they're in the witness
protection programme, they come in and they
are scared of aeroplanes, they're scared of
heights scale of aeroplanes more specifically.
And they're coming to see me because in two weeks
they're going to Mexico to get married. Great.
So they come into the office and we're just about
to work and they say to me, luke um, question.
We're doing this work here today. We're just
about to do this work right now. But but but how
am I going to know that it worked until I was on
the aeroplane? I'm I'm not gonna know
if this worked if I changed. I've got a great
way of bringing that up and great way of them
knowing before they leave the office you either
worked or it didn't. And I'm like, luke, because
I'm not gonna be on the plane. There's no way
to test it. I'm saying that's an interesting thing.
So you don't know about if this is gonna work
until you're actually on the aeroplane, 2 weeks
when I'm not gonna be there and I work is finished.
They're like, yeah. So like, you actually think
the problem is a plane, right? They're like,
yeah, of course it's the plane. I'm terrified of flying.
It's the plane 's fault. I'm like interesting.
I wonder if I could do a little experiment, frame it softly.
You up for a little experiment? There like. Yeah, alright.
Close your eyes. And to imagine it's two weeks
from now and you're on that aeroplane.
Then suddenly that emotion comes up and I see
that colour change and that emotional shift.
I'm like, where's the anxiety now that they
couldn't find before? Because why would I feel
anxious now? I'm not on the aeroplane. It's a 9!
I really know it to 9 because I've seen this shift in colour.
I've seen the body stiffen up. And I'll say,
well, that's how you know. Because when we're
done today, when you revisit that past memory
or future memory, that nine, you'll still be
able to see it however you see it in your mind,
in a way that makes sense to you, but you won't
be able to feel it. So you'll know that this shit worked.
They are great. So do the modality, the hypnosis
Huna, the healing timeline therapy, whatever
the technique is, an hour later we go back to test it.
So imagine it's two weeks from now, you're on the aeroplane.
Where's the fear gone now? Where's your anxiety
gone now? And I'm not just listening to her words,
I'm watching, I'm watching their Physiology
because I took a mental picture when they first
came in, when they were in a fear state and
now I'm comparing it to the end. So yeah I'm listening
to them but I'm comparing the two pictures fear
state when they came in and now there should be none.
There should be an absence of it right. So I'm
looking for major markers and ohh yeah luke
I it's still not my most favourite thing in the
world flying on an aeroplane but you know, I
guess I'm going to be up there for four hours
and you know I read a magazine. I'm like what
about the anxiety? No, I just just just just feel neutral.
Just feel neutral about it. Like really try
really really try. And I'm like, I'm not doing
this as a trick. I know it's hypnotist. Like
Ohh, try and do this and try and do that and we
don't want. I'm like now generally, I really
want you to look for the anxiety in that future memory.
And if you can find any, we've got more work to do.
But if there's truly none left, you won't be
able to find it. And I give him some time. I step back.
I let him try and scan it and find it, and I'm not talking.
Give him a moment.
And they're like, no, can't find it. I'm like,
I'm like they're really, really give it a good look.
So you're really satisfied that this is done,
because remember, I'm not going to be there
2 weeks from now. This. This is the time that
there's only left. We need to get rid of it now.
Like, really, really good. A good, good, strong
test to see if it's there. And no, I don't find it.
I'm like, awesome. They smile. They're happy.
I've compared the two pictures in my mind. Yeah,
this one 's completely different from this one.
Great. They're confirming it to me, but they're
not really confirming it to me. That's not for
my ego, it's for them. Because when the words
come out of their own mouth, confirming it to them.
But here's where the great big what if? Come?
This is #4. The great big what if? Anyone remember
the TV show Colombo? Detective Colombo? Yeah,
do you remember Colombo? Said old detective
show Peter Falk And he was known because he
would seem a little bit of a dummy. A lot of the
criminals would think he was an idiot. But he
was really cunning and he was, he was really sneaky.
He was lot smarter. So people misjudged him
and his intelligence as a detective. They they'd
figured that they'd pulled a fast one and a murder,
and they got off right. And every episode it
had this scene. They think they got away with
their crime of the century, and it's coming
to about the last 10-15 minutes of the episode,
and he would step forward. He got ready to walk
out of the room and he would turn over his, turn
over his shoulder and say. Oh, just one more thing.
Just one more thing, Luke, where I am actually
on the aeroplane next week, what about the fear?
What if, what if I hit turbulence? What if the
fear comes back? What if this doesn't work now?
The what ifs come at the end of the session. So
no matter how good or thorough our work was here,
that what if has the potential to unravel everything
we have just done and they're going to be completely unsatisfied.
By the way, the what if is a different problem? It's anxiety.
So if they were coming in with a different problem,
but what if is always linked strongly to anxiety, so.
I'm like, hold on. You still think the problem
is about the aeroplane? Do you remember at the
beginning when I said to you it has nothing to
do with the aeroplane? Because you can have
fear 2 weeks before you go on the aeroplane when
you're at home lying on your bed just to cause
you can't go to sleep and you could bring up the fear.
Where's the aeroplane then? And they look at
me like this. Ohh, I don't know. No, there's the aeroplane.
It's in my head. Yeah, it's in your head. It has
nothing to do with the aeroplane at all. It's
your internal representations or how you're
seeing it, feeling it, experiencing in your body.
They're like, OK, so I'm like, so let me get this right.
Yeah but luke, what if it comes back to which
I say, so let me get this right. It's a 0 right now.
Won't give it another test. So I'll hit the test again.
Think of the most traumatic memory or future
memory that you can have. Bring it up. Where's
the feeling? Well, I can't feel it. So I've retested
again and like, so let me get this right two weeks
from now, you're going to get on that aeroplane
to Mexico and you're going to fly off. Are you
gonna have a different head than you have right
now? They're like, look at me puzzled. Are you
gonna have a different brain than you have right
now? They're like, well no, I guess it's the
same head and it's the same brain. So what's
going to be different from what the change that
you just made now and bring it into next week,
it's the same person, the same brain. They're
like ohh, yeah because they still think it's
about the aeroplane or not how they're processing it.
So you have to be very careful with clients when
it comes to what if and oftentimes what ifs can
be really disguised in such a way that you really
think, oh, that's a really good question they're asking.
I'm going to answer that. That's a really good question.
However, it's a what if question. And every
what if question is going to unravel your work
unless you deal with it there and then no matter
how good you are. So no matter what my clients
presenting problem is I always do a little bit
of anxiety work or future pacing because I want them.
I want to nuke, I want to get rid of, I want to delete
the what if. So when they're there every kind
of scenario that could have gone through they've
experienced it. They know. Ohh yeah I'm the
same guy just still 2 weeks old. The same head same
brain aeroplane. I'm not scared of aeroplane.
Say something to them, like if aeroplane was
the problem, then every single human being
on Earth would be scared of it flying. And I don't
know what the specific statistic is, but let's
say it's I don't know, 10% of people on Earth
are scared of flying. Doesn't matter if it's
a little bit less or more, there's still a huge
amount of people that either enjoy flying or
are completely neutral to it. It's never the
aeroplane, it's always our filtering systems.
So be careful of the what if? Oh luke, I'm, I'm,
I'm doing really well now, but what happens
in a couple of weeks when I go to this? I'm doing good.
There's another issue. I'm releasing weight.
It's going really, really well. I'm down 15lbs
It's going great for all this empowerment.
But you know what? I've got this wedding coming
up and what happened the the wedding, if I eat
too much, gotta deal with it. You've gotta deal
with that right then and there because if you
don't deal with it, they're going to come in next time.
They're going to come from this place of eating
too much cake at the wedding rather than ohh
yeah, I'm taking the change with me. Another
little sneaky thing I do with my clients is.
And it's a bit easier now on zoom because we're
in people's homes or wherever they're gonna
zoom with me at work. Oftentimes when I'd work
with clients, the change would get generalised
to my office, my physical office, but I forget
to tell them to bring the change or the transformation
out with them. I know it sounds like a little thing.
So what would happen is oftentimes the client
who called me up for the screening call the
heroin addict or the smoker is not the same client
that comes to my office. Now. They look the same.
They have the same fingerprint, they have the
same eye colour, they have the same sin number,
the same passport. But it's very different
because they called me up in a state of ohh, gotta
get rid of this or they're jonesing for their
drug and they're in their home or typically
environment where they might engage in that
particular behaviour activity. But when it
came to my office, they had no intention of shooting
up heroin or crystal meth. Or smoking. Or eating
10,000 calories. Or jumping out of an aeroplane. All right.
So when they show up, they're generally. Passive
a lot of the times, and I have a big belief that
the only way we can start to collapse that jenga
block or that structure is we need to be in the
problem with them at the bottom. Almost like
the Navy seals, right the Navy seals underwater
demolition if the client is not in the problem,
but they're watching it. Or as we say, dissociated
instead of associated. It's a bit like you go
to a fairground and you watch somebody on the
roller coaster versus being on the roller coaster.
Now if they're coming from a place of being dissociated
to get neurological on you, it's that neurological
pathway in their brain isn't lit up. So if they're
talking about passively, ohh yeah. You know,
when you when you do this and you do that, it's
another way to dissociate. Not when I'm on,
when I'm on the aeroplane or when I'm having
the problem or the panic attack. You know when
you have that. Panic attack, you know when you're
on the aeroplane. That's another way they do
the maybe or the what if so, whenever you hear
a you, you know you. It seems like such a small
thing, right? You have to be like. Well, no,
I don't have that problem. We're talking about you.
So please, going forward, please, when you're
talking about your problem, say I say me. Whatever
your name is, say luke. And later on they'll
slip up again. You know, luke, when you have
that problem, you're doing heroin. Well, no, I've.
I've. I've never done heroin. So I have no idea
why are you talking about me? Do you know my history?
No, no, no. So please talk about you. Because
they keep dissociating from the problem, and
that sounds powerful at some point, but they're
dissociating at the wrong time. When they want
to quit doing their heroin, the panic attack,
they're in it. That's when they don't want to be it.
That's when they want to dissociate. But when
it comes to the office, they're dissociated,
so it means everything 's passive. So we need
to get them into the problem state, light up that neurology.
So we're in the building and we or we pull out
that jenga block so we can knock that whole
thing down or like the Navy seals explode it.
Does that make sense to people? Yeah. Get inside the problem.
Get them associated into the problem. The great
big what if? To be very, very careful and answering
questions, and they will often come at the end
of the session. What if, what if, what if before
they leave your office, you got you got to deal
with that, you've got to deal with the what if?
And there's a few ways that you can deal with